How To Be A Teenager In 6 Simple Steps…

Doesn’t it get really annoying when you see teens stumbling through the streets of town, hanging around in the children’s play park, and playing the game, “who can litter the most?” For my first post, I’ve compiled six things that almost every teen will do on a day to day basis. Am I kind, or am I kind?

1. Whenever possible, stay away from all members of the family.

If you want to be the cool dude, then it’s important that you avoid all family, and spend every day out with your other ignorant teen friends.  Spend your life either in your room, in the bathroom (everyone, including teens, need to go sometimes) or walking the streets of town. The only exception to this rule is if you want something, in which case you must politely request your desired amount of money from a parent, and stroll of to the corner shop with a grunt.

2. Fill your phone’s storage up with selfies.

It’s important that you stay trendy, and what’s the trendiest thing out there right now? The selfie! It’s a great way to keep your memories of watching Saturday night television, using the toilet, and being bored. Take a selfie everywhere, until you have no more room left on your phone to store anything else. When in public, never ask a stranger to take your photo, that’s just not cool. Instead, (despite feeling uncomfortable, looking around for people who may be watching you) take a selfie.

3. Go litter crazy!

Who even cares about the environment? All it is is the place that we will live the rest of our life in, so what’s so important about that? Because you’re a lazy teenager you automatically have permission to ruin the environment. A few metres is WAY too far for ANYONE to walk, never mind some teenager who should be having an active lifestyle. You could die of a heart attack, better safe than sorry. 👍

4. Get a super expensive phone and ruin it.

These days, all the kids have an iPhone. In order to complete step number two, you must own a phone. Beg your parents for the most expensive you can get, the more money spent, the more popular you will be. It is also extremely important that within two days of usage, smash the screen. That way everyone will notice your sparkling, new, expensive phone.

5. Hang around town.

You never grow too old for the children’s play park! After school, walk straight to the park without telling your parents, and play on the swings with your friends. xD Be sure to shout loudly in everything you say, and also use the following step when out and about;

6. Swear. (Loudly)

Because you want to look like an adult, it is important to get into the habit of it. As I said above, scream the rude language as loud as you can to attract attention. It doesn’t matter if a little old lady happens to hear and take offence, or if a child picks up on your bad behaviour, you’re a reckless teenager who cares for nobody.

So there you have it, follow these steps to become the common teenager! Hope you enjoyed, and let me know if these tips helped you!

If you don’t get it, it’s a joke!

-Hayden